Trainer reveals three things to focus on with your dog to build confidence and reduce anxiety

Mature man embracing his bulldog outdoors
(Image credit: Getty Images)

We all want a well behaved dog, but what if we've been going about things all wrong? From trying to avoid the most common loose leash walking mistakes to figuring out how to stop a dog from jumping up, many of us focus on teaching our dogs obedience. 

And while your dog needs to know how to sit and stay, certified trainer Carolyn, who is also the founder of Good Dog Training, says it's important we don't get so fixated on obedience that we miss what's actually important. 

"I’ve noticed that dog owners often focus on the wrong thing," says Carolyn in a post shared to Instagram. "They’ll do obedience class after obedience class, never realizing that obedience isn’t the answer. It doesn’t matter if a dog can heel if they’re attacking the other dog in the home. Obedience won’t fix that."

Instead, Carolyn stresses the importance of ensuring your dog trusts you, that they value being close to you, that they can cope well with new things, and are able to make good decisions on their own. 

"Raising and training a dog is about so much more than sitting, staying, and heeling," she explains. "Let's build resilient, confident, optimistic dogs instead of obedient ones." 

To help you do just that, Carolyn recommends paying attention to three key areas. You can check these out in her post below or read on for a summary....

1. Pay attention to your dog's emotions: "Emotions are what drive serious behavior problems, like aggression and reactivity," Carolyn says. "It doesn't matter if she can stay if she's constantly stressed and anxious." Check out our guides to how to calm a reactive dog and anxiety in dogs for expert advice on these issues. 

2. Don't miss socialization and preventing problems: "Preventing aggression and reactivity is far more important than teaching a puppy to lie down," Carolyn explains.

3. Don't miss out on the relationship, the connection, the joy: "Are you and your dog having fun together? That's more important than obedience. Always."

Carolyn says that it's important to focus on what matters. "I see people so fixated on teaching their puppy to sit that they end up with a dog that can kind of sit but bites strangers, resource guards, and attacks other dogs."

As a pet parent, the prize is an emotionally balanced dog who trusts you and feels close to you — not one who is always obedient. 

For extra support when it comes to helping your dog feel happy, confident, and emotionally regulated, we recommend reaching out to a professional trainer.

Kathryn Williams
Freelance writer

Kathryn is a freelance writer who has been a member of the PetsRadar family since it launched in 2020. Highly experienced in her field, she's driven by a desire to provide pet parents with accurate, timely, and informative content that enables them to provide their fur friends with everything they need to thrive. Kathryn works closely with vets and trainers to ensure all articles offer the most up-to-date information across a range of pet-related fields, from insights into health and behavior issues to tips on products and training. When she’s not busy crafting the perfect sentence for her features, buying guides and news pieces, she can be found hanging out with her family (which includes one super sassy cat), drinking copious amounts of Jasmine tea and reading all the books.

Read more
Bulldog with toilet roll in his mouth
If your dog does something you don’t like, try this expert-approved response to help you adjust your mindset
Female dog owner hugging dog and stroking his head
Being alert to these three common misconceptions will help you keep you and your dog happy!
Woman crouched down facing her dog
Trainer reveals how to work with your reactive dog to set them up for success
Dog walking towards camera carrying leash in his mouth
Trainer shares six simple skills you can put into action to give your dog confidence and freedom out walking
Dog pulling owner on their leash in the park
Trainer shares three expert-approved tips to stop your dog pulling on their leash
Dog looking up at owner appearing to show respect
Trainer reveals why ‘you don’t need your dog’s respect’ for good behavior
Latest in Dogs
Megan's nonna's cat lying down next to the Neakasa P2 Pro Grooming Kit
I test pet products for a living, and this discount on the Neakasa P2 Pro Grooming Kit is not to be missed
Jan, a dog behaviorist, playing with her dog Cassie
I’m a dog behaviorist and these are my top tips for ‘bulletproof’ reliable recall
Dog looking over the back seat of a car
‘Some dogs are very clear when they’re unhappy in the car – but others are more passive’: Behaviorist warns that signs of distress are easily missed
Bull Terrier laying on grass with tongue out
Bull Terriers have a unique ‘Marmite’ look but they can be energetic, playful pets
Cute Labrador puppy on sofa
A pet’s ‘cuteness’ can influence intentions to book Airbnbs and rental stays, suggests new study
King Charles in front of a union jack flag
King Charles brings home his first puppy in over three decades – here’s what we know so far
Latest in News
Megan's nonna's cat lying down next to the Neakasa P2 Pro Grooming Kit
I test pet products for a living, and this discount on the Neakasa P2 Pro Grooming Kit is not to be missed
Yaheetech Large Cat Tower with PetsRadar deals graphic
Hurry! Our top-rated cat tower is 40% off right now in the Amazon Big Spring Sale
Shark Air Purifier in a room with a man, dog, a child playing, with a petsradar deals overlay to the right hand side
Not a drill! Shark’s Air Purifier is $130 off in the Amazon Big Spring Sale – and it’s going straight in my basket
Megan's PetPivot Autoscooper 11 with a Petsradar deals overlay to the right hand side
This automatic cat litter box changed my life! And it’s now under $200 (not a typo!) in the Amazon Big Spring Sale
Cat looking at vacuum cleaner with suspicion
How to spring clean without causing your cat anxiety, according to an expert
Dog looking over the back seat of a car
‘Some dogs are very clear when they’re unhappy in the car – but others are more passive’: Behaviorist warns that signs of distress are easily missed