40 funny dog jokes that will make you (and all the family) howl with laughter

Funny dog jokes - woman lying down with dog laughing as dog licks her
(Image credit: Getty Images)

It's no wonder why there's a shedload of funny dog jokes lurking on the internet about our amusing and loveable furry friends.

If they're not pulling funny faces while they're dreaming, they're chasing their tail. And when they're not doing that, they're either chasing one of the best dog toys back and forth, rolling over, or they've got the zoomies.

So, if you're a pet owner you'll know how much joy having a dog can bring. And studies back this up. In fact, research has shown that just having a quick cuddle or stroke of a dog can result in a surge of oxytocin (a type of hormone that promotes positive feelings).

If you're ready to keep those feel-good hormones pumping, hunker down and prepare to laugh out loud because we've compiled a list of funny dog jokes for adults and the best dog jokes for kids that deserve a round of a-paws!

Funny dog jokes

Funny dog jokes for adults

Whether you're the proud pet parent of one of the best teddy bear dog breeds, you have one of the best dog breeds for life on a farm, or your family includes one of the most affectionate dog breeds that love to be loved, you're bound to relate to these adult-friendly dog jokes and have a giggle or two.

Funny dog jokes - woman holding dog smiling at him

(Image credit: Getty Images)
  1. What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper? Ruff! Ruff!
  2. What kind of car does a dog drive? A fur-rari.
  3. What's the difference between a dog and a business person? A business person wears trousers, a dog just pants.
  4. What trick does a dog do on Halloween? Play dead.
  5. Why did the Dachshund want to sit in the shade? Because it was a hot dog.
  6. Why are dogs so bad at dancing? They have two left feet.
  7. Why did the pooch go to the bank? To make a de-paws-it.
  8. Why did the dog take a break? He had to paws.
  9. Which breed did Dracula have? A bloodhound, of course.
  10. What do you call a dog who's had a long walk outside in the cold? A chili dog.
  11. What happens when dogs need to take a toilet break during a movie? They press the paws button.
  12. Why did the officer issue a ticket to the dog who was giving birth in a car park? Because she was littering.
  13. Why does a noisy dog resemble a tree? Because they both have a lot of bark.
  14. Why didn't the dog want to play soccer? Because it was, in fact, a boxer.
  15. What do dalmations say when they finish their dinner? Mmm, now that hit the spot.
  16. What do you call a wild dog that meditates alone? An aware wolf.
  17. What do dogs like to eat at a cinema? Pupcorn.
  18. When dogs have a fever, what should you feed them? Mustard — it pairs well with hot dogs.
  19. Why do dogs love conjunctions? Because dogs love 'buts'.
  20. What do you call a dog that can't bark? A hushpuppy.
  21. What do you call a really bad zoo with no animals apart from a dog? A shih tzu.

Funny dog jokes for children

Funny dog jokes aren't just for grown ups. It turns out children find those loveable, friendly balls of fur just as funny as we do. So check out the best kid-approved dog jokes they'll want to tell you, their friends and just about anyone who will listen.

Funny dog jokes - child lying down next to dog laughing together

(Image credit: Getty Images)
  1. After accidentally swallowing Buzz Lightyear, what did the dog say to Woody? You got a friend in me.
  2. What type of dog is great at soccer? A golden receiver.
  3. Why was the dog so good at telling stories? He knew when to 'paws' for dramatic effect.
  4. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
  5. Why are dalmatians so bad at playing hide and seek? Because they are always spotted.
  6. What type of cake do you get a dog for its birthday? Pup-cakes.
  7. What did the dog do when it graduated from college? He had a paw-ty.
  8. What kind of dog never throws anything away? A hoarder collie.
  9. What was the Scottie dog’s reaction to the Loch Ness Monster? He was terrier-fied!
  10. What did the banana say to the dog? Bananas can’t talk.
  11. Who gives a dog its Christmas present? Santa Paws.
  12. Why did the puppy cross the road? To get to the barking lot.
  13. What does a dog get when they finish obedience school? A pet-degree.
  14. What do you call a dog who sneezes? A choo-wawa.
  15. What type of dog should you get if you're always late? A watchdog.
  16. What’s a dog’s favorite ice cream? A pupsicle!
  17. Where did the dog start when it came to training his flea? From scratch.
  18. What's a dog's favorite kind of store? A re-tail store.
  19. Which breed of dog likes living in the Big Apple? A New Yorkie.

While you're here, you might also be interested in discovering the can dogs laugh? And are dogs ticklish? Or how about funny cat jokes? If you’re a lover of facts, check out our favorite interesting dog facts.

Becks Shepherd
Freelance Journalist

Becks is a freelance lifestyle journalist who has more than 9 years of experience in the world of digital and print journalism. She covers health, wellness and family interests for a range of titles. When she's not putting pen-to-paper (or finger-to-keyboard) she's reading, in the gym, or taking her Dog Aunt title very seriously looking after the handful of four-legged creatures in her life.